1:10 AM

There have a old saying, You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.
Dear Diary,
While I was preparing myself for the PhD voyager, I have had in my mind that I must practice ‘The Mentalist’ during my spare time one of the best serial I have ever seen. I was very passionately in love with the philosophy of it. The central character has been defined by a very emerging branch of cutting edge sciences called “Behavioral Science”. While arriving here in Brisbane, I tried to accumulate my spare times, but well.. PhD itself asking for devotion, so it used to take full of my concentration. Except PhD work, any other things used to consider as a routine work where there don’t need any attention. But apart from this devotion something always working inside me, in my absence mind.

I love to spend my video time with TEDtalk. In one of the talk a successful person demanded that, if anyone spend one hour, just one hour everyday over 5 years, s/he will be a national expert someday. I don’t know how far this statement is true, but it is true that what I have in my mind over the five years made a strong place and strong feelings. I don’t believe that I am expert but all I feel that I understand.

আমার মনের মানুষেরও সনে…
You know what, everybody has singularity, everyone does. Like you, the digital version of my Diary. ha ha.. Yeah, true, See..I can post images, videos and many more things that can’t form in your paper version. হো হো

However, wait….!
Am I self obsessed?
Whom I am talking to
You? Me?
Who are you?
MEEE?

Dilemma…!

I am trying to change my testes. I have stopped watching Aussie Serials for a while. I am hopping from here and there. Mostly spend time in TEDtalk and Youtube. Sometimes I peeped into Bangla Movies. Not the BD Bangla rather Kolkata. I have had some tastes of Bangla Movies from Kolkata, specially some detectives one. Once I used to read some books on detective story which they have made in some movies. Of course not like the Hollywood tastes but not astray as well. Very coincidentally I have watched a movie today made me very astonished. What a subject, and wonderful presentation. They must theft this idea from somewhere, for sure. Otherwise, it is quite unexpected to me to see such an art from Kolkata.
Well, ..but..
You know what, a girl from kolkata for the first time started PhD in our school, just a couple of months ago. Her name is Neela, I found her quite like us. Although they talk in different accent, may be the way of expression also but the thinking is like us to some extent. I used to have chat with her while during our launch. Very eagerly I asked about their life, I found no difference. I feel very little difference in terms of other people even from the Indian one…! I didn’t expect it at all.

Anyway,
It is two o’clock and really late for me.
মুভিটা দেখে লালনের গানটা মাথায় ঘুরছে। আমি কুস্টিয়ায় ৭ বছর থাকলেও লালন শাহর আখরায় কখনো যাওয়া হয় নি। তাই শেষ যখন কুষ্টিয়ায় গিয়েছিলাম সার্টিফিকেট আনতে, একা একা গিয়েছিলাম লালনের আখরায়। তার মাজারের কিছুদুরেই একটা পুকুর আছে। সেখানে বসে বসে ডায়েরী লেখেছিলাম কিছুক্ষন। কি লিখেছিলাম? মনে পড়ছে না, তবে চোখের সামনে দেখতে পাচ্ছি পুকুরটা।

মেঘের বিদ্যুৎ মেঘে যেমন
লুকালে না পায় অন্বেষন…………… হুম, বেশ অসম্পুর্ন জীবনযাপন করছি আমি।।

I have to believe, nobody is controlling me. No one. Life has no remote, I have to get up and change it myself.

 

  

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